Author: d8rkmessngr
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/?, Jack/Ianto eventually, het and slash
Rating: NC-17 (betaed)
Summary: He left Jack on the game station. Abandoned. But then…he came back…different. An AU look on what happens if things happened differently. Doctor Who 'verse with Torchwood later on. Be sure to read the warnings.


Warnings: Please read each chapter's individual warnings. Some parts down the road may briefly mention non-con, abuse, and/or violence. Dark in the beginning. Please note there are some dark thoughts as my boys are broken…for now. Each chapter will be labeled for your convenience.
Author's Notes: Please note this is an AU that will cross over DW to TW season one. I'm probably spoiling my own story, but it will eventually be Janto. There's a bit of a journey first. I hope you enjoy. I'm working on this and intend to post regularly every other day. And again, I always believe in happy endings. So without further ado…
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Warning For This Chapter: Dubious consent. Non-con.


Prologue + Ch , Ch 2, Ch 3

Master Fic List: here



Chapter 4
Time Vortex
Two weeks later…

The controls hummed under his hands. Jack watched, fascinated, as the TARDIS blipped and beeped, the dials turning and…

A jolt, a squawk, and then with a poof of smoke.

Nothing. Again.

Jack groaned, pushing up from his elbows, and clawed a piece of coral to pull himself back up to the pedestal. He shook his head towards the domed ceiling. The TARDIS twilled.

"Ouch," Jack grumbled. It was worse than falling through the vortex from his Rift Manipulator. He sheepishly looked across to the Doctor, who was also getting back up on his feet. His smile wavered at the stormy expression that rose from behind the counter.

"Sorry," Jack shrugged as he brushed dust off his shoulder and knees. There goes another shirt. He stroked the top of the control console with the back of his fingers. All was forgiven. Jack knew it had tried ever since the Doctor surprisingly gave the flight controls back to Jack to try. "She just won't go past year three million with me."

The Doctor had a sour look on his face. Jack resisted the urge to sigh. The Doctor's mood lately swung from tolerate to downright outrage. It was like dating those twins back in the twenties. Sheesh.

"Maybe…" Jack said slowly, patting the console when the TARDIS rumbled, "We've maxed out her limit—"

"Impossible!"

Jack jumped at the fist that slammed down on the counter. The ship squealed. "Doctor!" Jack snapped. It wasn't his ship but it grated him anyway to see the Doctor abuse her like that. The Doctor had always talked to the TARDIS before with fondness. "Look, I don't understand what the problem is! She just won't go! You tried. I tried. Maybe that's as far as she'll—"

"No!" The Doctor's eyes blazed. Jack took a step back in reaction. "She's done it before!"

Jack blinked. "She…she has? What? Past three million?"

The Doctor scrubbed furiously at his closely cropped hair. It stood up in wild tuffs of straw-colored hair. He yanked at his thin black tie, straightening it as he glared at the domed chamber. "She could go to the end of the universe if she wanted to!" he snarled.

Jack couldn't help himself. He laughed. "What? That's like trillions of years! That's imposs—" Jack gasped when he found himself slammed back hard into the controls, staring inches away from the Doctor's hard stare.

"Not impossible, Captain," the Doctor hissed. "We have all the components. We just need to figure out the equation."

Jack's arched back against the controls and he could feel the knobs and dials digging painfully into his spine. He should have been able to throw the Doctor off easily, but his gaze was caught in the maelstrom brewing in the Doctor's eyes. The hair in the back of his neck rose and he discovered his body wouldn't, couldn't move.

"You know I'm right, Captain," the Doctor said low, lying bodily on top of Jack, chest to chest, his hand gripping Jack's wrists with surprising strength, pining them above his head. "End of the universe is not impossible. Just…difficult."

Breathing harshly, Jack panted. "O-okay. Not impossible. S-sure." He winced as his back creaked, being bent in too awkward of a position. Ouch. God knew how those twin acrobats did it. He winced as his lower back cramped, his legs throbbed as they locked, trying to hold him upright.

Jack wet his lips nervously when he realized the Doctor wasn't moving. "Uh, Doctor?"

"Hm?" The Doctor's mouth curved with a sly twist. His gaze narrowed on Jack and his smile stretched hungrily. Jack's eyes widened. He tugged at his hands. The Doctor, however, didn't pull away. In fact, Jack became very aware of the Gallifreyan's knee coming between his legs, forcing them apart.

Jack closed his eyes, biting his lower lip when the Doctor pressed closer. He could feel the heat over his groin, the Doctor rocked against him and the zipper in Jack's trousers rubbed over the swell between his legs. Jack stifled a groan.

"H-hey," Jack joked weakly. "I thought I had to buy you that drink f-first." He gulped when the Doctor shifted and—oh God, a bolt of pure lust shot up his back. Jack stifled a moan. "Or go d-dancing at least?"

The Doctor's eyes closed briefly and when they reopened, they were dark, murky and…and…Jack's breath stuttered as he found himself staring into them.

"Tell me, Jack," the Doctor purred. "Would you go to the end of the universe with me?"

The pressure building up between his legs made it hard to think; his words unsteady, his mind foggy. The ship around him for some reason began shaking. "What? I…y-yes…" He would. Jack would go to Hell itself with the Doctor.

The Doctor's hand wandered, fingers pinching and stroking inside Jack's upper thigh until—

Jack threw his head back, slamming into the console as he cried out in surprise. A hand squeezed between his legs, over his trousers.

"Doctor," Jack whimpered, bewildered. What was the Doctor doing? Jack pressed against the hand, aching.

"Yes," the Doctor cooed. "You like this, don't you?" He placed his head by Jack's jaw, his lips a hair's breadth away from his ear. His hand squeezed and rubbed over the growing bulge. A dark chuckle filled every one of Jack's senses. Jack's head spun.

"You were all alone on that station, Captain. Everyone dead…but you."

Jack pressed his face to the Doctor's neck. He could hear himself keening under his breath, his hips jerking against that warm palm cupping him so perfectly.

"Were you scared, Jack?" Teeth grazed at his ear. "Were you terrified to find yourself alone?" The hand gripping his wrists tightened. "How long did you wait alone in that hollow station before you left for Earth?"

He didn't want to hear any more. Jack gasped harshly, twisting feebly, trying to get his hands free so he could touch. The Doctor laughed throatily.

"Tell me, Captain." A sharp hiss licked in his ear as the hand over Jack began adding more pressure, just at the base with the heel of his hand, enough to make Jack cry out.

"What did it feel like waiting and waiting and never knowing if someone will come for you?"

The Doctor's voice echoed in his mind. Jack choked. He could still taste the Dalek dust in the air. He could still taste salt from waking up every night. He could still taste the sour tang from when he tried to drink himself to oblivion.

"Did you dream of this?" The Doctor very deliberately curled around the semi-erect bulge between Jack's legs. The Time Lord pulled. Jack's trousers brushed against his cock, a rasp tactile sensation coupled with the firm heat of the Doctor's palm. The TARDIS below them trembled but the Doctor ignored it.

"Did you dream, long for someone, to come back and touch you like this?"

Jack gulped air as he ground his hips against the hand, the body on top of him a weight that was both frightening and exciting. The edge of the counter dug into his back, his shoulders ached as he was bent backwards towards the console.

"Tell me," the command slurred to a snake hiss. "Or would anyone do, Captain? Did you just want anyone to touch you like this?" The hiss drew out long and hot against Jack's cheek. It felt like it could cut. "Tell me!"

"Just…j-just you," Jack groaned as he thrust up against the hand. "Doctor…please!" He could feel the Time Lord shifting his weight and Jack writhed as the Doctor rocked into him hard, slamming his pelvis against him, driving Jack back against the pedestal’s edge, his hand squashing down on Jack's erection, his mouth breathing harshly over his pulse point.

"Alone," the Doctor snarled. "You were alone. Abandoned. Discarded and you waited. You would have waited forever!"

"Yes!" Jack gasped out. It felt like the answer was being ripped out of him; everything he didn't even want to tell himself. The Doctor was grinding him into the counter, his hands on Jack's shoulders, his eyes dark and endless as he stared at Jack and kept demanding, demanding everything to come out: every person he fucked and let fuck him, every nightmare he had, every unscrupulous mission he did for an antiquated Torchwood just to bide his time. The Doctor ripped every answer out of him like driving an arm down his throat and wrenching the answers out. Jack's vision blurred as the Doctor's voice buzzed in his ear, hissing like gas, burning like fire. He couldn't think. Jack couldn't breathe. His throat was raw with each reply, his eyes burned with each shameful confession. His chest heaved against the weight on top of him.

"Would you have waited forever for your Doctor, Captain?"

Another slam of the hips sent his shoulders smacking into the controls again. A rib cracked. Jack flailed, groaning as his arms were finally freed when the Doctor moved his hands to his hips for better leverage, better force. Jack's neglected erection tented in his trousers and he pounded desperately against the firm stomach on top of him. Jack weakly clutched the Doctor's shoulders. He didn't know if he was trying to push him away or trying to get him to send him into completion. Pain rivaled the building pleasure pooling in his groin.

"Would you have waited forever?" The Doctor bit him hard on the neck, drawing blood.

"Yes!" Jack sobbed, shuddering as his release came violently.

A laugh filled his awareness; heady and sharp that it seem to choke the air out of him. Jack groaned, his arms flopping down to the console. He looked blearily at the Doctor as the Time Lord pushed off him, his breath just as harsh.

Jack felt himself being flipped onto his stomach over the console. He mumbled surprise, too winded and weak-kneed to do anything more. There was a stirring of apprehension when he could feel the Doctor standing behind him. This…this was what he wanted, wasn't it? The decades of nameless faces in the dark, frantic hands on damp skin, the raw pounding into heat just to forget. It was to forget this: the painful awareness of not being wanted, left behind, and perhaps forgotten. Jack could hear the Doctor behind him, breathing raggedly. Jack gulped, struggled to breathe, his heart pounding in his ears. Something was screaming into his ear, but he couldn't understand it, couldn't hear it. His mouth was dry as he waited for the Doctor to do something, anything. When the Doctor approached, Jack suddenly felt trapped.

"W-wait," Jack whispered but he could barely speak. He weakly tried to push off the console but his elbows wouldn't lock. Jack could see the Doctor's shadow stretching out to the pedestal and an inexplicable wave of panic swept over him. "D-doctor, h-hold on!" His head buzzed with all sorts of thoughts he couldn't understand.

A spark, almost an explosion, erupted just above the Doctor's head and the Time Lord staggered back in surprise, slamming into a support column. The TARDIS screamed—it was an inhumane screech like nails scraping rock—and the ship bucked so violently Jack yelped. Gravity was lost for a second and Jack felt temporary weightlessness, his body floating above the console before another jolt and both men crashed to the ground. The two men grunted as the ship rumbled then jumped wildly. Jack grunted as they collided with each other and crashed to the floor.

The Doctor rolled off him with a curse.

"Did…did we land?" Jack gasped, propping himself up from the floor with his elbows. His head spun. It felt like he was drunk and he blinked blearily at the Doctor.

The Doctor leapt to his feet and stood there, feet slightly apart, his face red.

"I've had enough of your interference!" the Doctor roared at the golden columns foggy with smoke. The time crystals in the central pillar froze mid-way, its blue light pulsating. "This ends now! Right now!"

"Doctor?" Jack got up shakily, swaying on his feet. "Is she okay?" He stared worriedly at the ship. He rubbed his eyes tearing from the smoke.

"She's fine," the Time Lord grated out. He looked over his shoulder at Jack. He grunted, turning back to face the central core. "Get yourself cleaned up," he ordered in a flat voice.

Jack flushed, realizing now his trouser front was damp. Shit, it had really happened. Jack stared at the Doctor's back, struggling to find something to say.

"I'll deal with you later, Captain." The razor-thin promise floated out from behind the rigid back.

Jack swallowed. He nodded mutely and left the room, his knees knocking, his head stuffed with cotton. The doors to his living quarters flew open just as he bumped into the doors, the lights brightened as he clutched his throbbing head and wove drunkenly towards his bed. Jack fell onto his bed facedown.

He lay there, halfway on the bed, gasping for breath.

"What…what just happened out there?" Jack gasped weakly. "We…we were going to-to…" He laid there, his hands clawing the bed as he fought to clear his head.

It would be a few minutes before Jack's head cleared sufficiently enough to change.

It would be another five hours before he could get out of his room. The TARDIS locked him in again.



Unknown Moon
One week later…

"I miss Rose."

Jack didn't know why it came out. It just did. While Jack stood there, staring at the exposed scorched wiring of a monitor the Doctor just pulled, it just came out. Jack blinked in surprise. Oh well, it was bound to come out sooner or later. Jack'd be the bad guy and say it first.

The Doctor grunted, pulled another panel across from Jack. He parted wires with his fingers, growling when they sparked.

"Hey, do you remember the time you and Rose followed that—"

A violent yank sent a spark large enough to send them both stumbling back.

"Never mind," Jack finished, grimacing as he watched the Doctor pull at some of the wires with unusual vehemence. The Doctor muttered to himself as he pulled the pendants he bought in Arcateen and threaded the wires through the crystals that clearly looked modified. Jack wondered what the Doctor could possibly be working on. Jack hadn't seen the TARDIS in this much disarray since—Wait a minute.

"Hey, where's the kinetic extrapolator?" Jack tilted his head and studied the pedestal with a frown. "Doctor, I thought you were planning to merge it with the ship." Margaret the Slitheen wasn't using it any more. She was an egg now or had been, no, maybe she wasn’t by now. Jack wrinkled his nose. Temporal grammar always gave him a headache.

"The what?" the Doctor grunted as he screwed in what looked like the rest of the pendants from Arcadeen into a metal panel behind some newly installed switches.

The TARDIS squealed and the ship shuddered.

"Oh, switch off!" the Doctor barked, fingers flicking at the dials he just installed. The sounds abruptly cut off and he smirked. He darkened and looked over to Jack. "What are you talking about?"

Jack frowned. Was the Doctor old enough to get senile? Did Time Lords get senile? "The tribophysical waveform macro kinetic extrapolator," Jack reminded him. "You know, the one we found in Cardiff? The one Rose said looked like—"

"Rose Rose Rose Rose!" The Doctor slapped a tool down on the console. His head shot up, eyes burning as he glowered at Jack. "Always with Rose!"

Jack blinked, mildly taken aback. "Well, I mean…she was your Companion first before I joined in and…" Jack shrugged. "I thought maybe you missed her," he mumbled. Jack now regretted saying anything at all.

"And do you miss her?"

"Of course." Oh, maybe not a good idea because the Doctor's eyes narrowed.

Then, like a switch, the shadows fled and the Doctor shrugged. Jack smiled hesitantly.

"Then perhaps we should go to Rose's time."

Jack brightened. "Really?" Maybe the Doctor's mood would improve. He'd always have a soft spot for her, Jack thought with only a little regret. "That would be great, Doctor. We had fun."

The smile the Doctor gave was deceptively mild. "Yes. We could go there and leave you there. You could stay there with Rose." His face twisted to a sneer. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

The blood drained from Jack's face. "What? No. I meant—"

"Of course," the Doctor continued, ignoring Jack as he closed up the panels he was working on. "It wouldn't do much good, would it? It could only last for so long. She'll die eventually. All things do." The Doctor leveled a dark gaze at Jack.

"Except you, Jack."

All the strength in his body bled out. Jack stumbled back, his mouth open in shock. "I-I ah…"

The Doctor stood there, his hands splayed out on the controls, a smirk on his face. "I'm right, am I not? Your Rose would grow old and age while you perhaps stay as young and as handsome as you are now." The Doctor cocked his head, the smirk flattening on his pale face. His eyes glinted like coals.

"She might even resent you, for staying beautiful while she wrinkles and decays." The Doctor stepped away from the pedestal. "A price to pay," the Doctor shrugged.

"For being immortal."

Immortal? Jack took another step back. The smile on the Doctor's face had faded and the Time Lord looked at him expressionless. "You…you knew?" Jack wiped his mouth with a shaky hand. "When?"

The Doctor's mouth twisted. "I knew. The moment I saw you."

All this time…Rage bubbled deep inside. Jack's breathing grew ragged. "You knew and you…you…" Jack lunged at him, one fist pulled back.

Perhaps he wasn't thinking clearly or the Time Lord was a lot stronger than they’d ever realized, Jack's fist was caught, twisted behind him in a painful hold and the Time Lord slammed him facedown over the pedestal.

"Why?" Jack cried out, twisting angrily under the Doctor. "Why did you do this to me?"

"I did nothing to you," the Doctor hissed, putting his full weight on Jack. He was shorter than Jack, centimeters of difference. He shouldn't be this strong. Jack choked on the anger lodged in his throat.

"Liar!" Jack tried to buck him off but a fist to the back of his head slammed him into the coral. Blood blinded him, choked him as it flooded to the back of his throat.

"Someone brought you back to life. Brought you back forever." The Doctor pressed his face to the back of Jack's hair and breathed deep. "You reek of the vortex. Every pore in your body is dripping with time frozen still."

"I didn't do this!" Jack coughed, blood spitted out. Tears of pain sprang up when the Doctor fisted his hair.

"You reek of the time vortex!" the Doctor snarled. "Why do you think you were abandoned? Why do you think you were left behind? You are wrong, Jack Harkness!"

Slam!

The Time Lord shoved Jack down again.

"You're a fixed point!"

Slam!

"A fact!"

Slam!

"No!" Jack's voice cracked. He sputtered, choked in his blood; his hands clawed the edge of the console. Using the leverage, Jack pushed back off from the pedestal now streaked with his blood.

The pair fell back, struggling apart. Jack yelped when he felt an arm around his middle, tackling him down to the settee. Jack grunted, suddenly finding himself on his back, the Doctor bodily across him, pinning him to the long seat.

The Doctor grabbed his wrists and trapped them on either side of Jack's head. His face was white with rage and—oh God, twisted with disgust.

"You don't know," the Time Lord hissed, his face speckled with Jack's blood, "how hard it is to look at you right now."

"Doctor," Jack cracked.

"Even the TARDIS could barely tolerate you," the Doctor spat out. "She hasn't flown right the minute you came on board!"

"This is not my fault!" Jack cried, his neck straining as he tried to roll the Doctor off. His eyes pleaded for the Time Lord to understand, but he realized the Doctor's eyes were fixed to his throat. God, he wouldn't even look at him now. "I didn't do this! I don't know what happened to me!"

"Perhaps vanity?" the Doctor ignored him. "Did you fear aging? Your looks corrupted with the years?"

"No!"

"Even I will grow old one day, Jack," the Doctor spat out. "I'll shrink and die and one day no more regeneration. Even the TARDIS will die. But you?" His lips curled back. "The universe will crumble and become dark matter and fall into nothing yet you may still remain; alone, unchanged."

"N-no!" This one was barely audibly under the tears. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't!"

"You're absolutely wrong, Jack Harkness! An abomination!" the Doctor hissed. He jerked, pulling away and he stepped back, wiping his face clean of Jack's blood with the back of his sleeve.

Jack's chest heaved and heaved; he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. He couldn't get up. The anger, the rage had dissolved to a cold fear from the Doctor's words.

"Look at yourself," the Doctor turned away from Jack in a cruel dismissal. "I'm sick to my guts." The Doctor slammed his hands down at the counter. He stared at the coral surface, his breathing loud and strained.

"Off with you," the Doctor said in a tight voice. "I can't look at you right now."

"Doctor…" Jack choked.

"Go!"

Jack stumbled out of the settee, weaving to his living quarters from memory. He couldn't see; blood drying over his eyes. His nose and forehead had already stopped bleeding; proof of how wrong he was. The Doctor had cracked open his head before.

The revelation broke him; a sob forced out of his lungs like it was squeezed out of him. Jack crashed into the doors, staggered past his bed and practically fell into the side door that led to the bathroom. He didn't stop, crawling now as his legs lost his strength. He clawed the toilet, lunging towards the bowl. Jack retched; violent spasms came out of his throat like broken glass. Tears, blood, bile dribbled out of his eyes, nose, mouth and it felt like he would choke. But he didn't. Because he was wrong, oh God, so wrong, he had been left behind because it was that unbearable to even look at him.

"I didn't ask for this!" Jack gasped out as his body seized in another miserable bout of agony. "I-I d-didn't…"

The TARDIS around him never reacted, never hummed. It was the final rejection that tore at his heart. The cry Jack had denied himself for over seventy years broke free, ripped from his heart. It came out first as a howl before it splintered to a breathless sob.

Jack huddled over the toilet and wished he could die.



He dreamt the dust was around him; spinning, swirling in a wind he neither could see nor feel. He reached out a hand to brace himself on the wall and felt solid stone soften to ash. He gasped, breathing in dust by mistake. He fell and the ground vanished beneath him in a sparkle of dust.

He fell…

Jack jerked, gasping, his throat rubbed raw from decades of loneliness and grief. He had crawled into his bed in the dark and never crawled out.

"You never came back out." A bodiless voice, cold and flat, surrounded him.

Jack felt the ache in his throat. "I thought you didn't want to see me."

"I don't."

Jack pressed his face to his pillow, wishing he could suffocate himself. "That's why you left me behind," his voice was muffled.

"Yes." The bed dipped. "But I came back."

Jack squeezed his eyes shut. His heart hurt like a knife was slowly digging into his chest. He gasped. "I didn't ask for this. I swear. Doctor, I—" Jack twisted to face him.

"Don't turn around."

Jack bit his lower lip. Even now, in the dark…Jack nodded and buried his face into the pillow, fists around the cushion.

Hands on his back startled him. Jack stiffened, raising his head.

"Don't." The hiss made Jack swallow hard.

Jack closed his eyes and felt hot dry hands pulling down his trousers, his boxers. He felt the Doctor settle on the back of his thighs. He was still dressed in his suit; stiff, brushed fabric that felt like knives on his overheated skin as the Doctor settled between his legs. Fingers rolled up his shirt, under his arms. Jack could feel fingers tracing his ribs along his torso, the ridges of his spine.

The touch left a trail of fire that rivaled the sick, cold feeling in his stomach. Jack closed his eyes tighter, wishing desperately he could erase that twisted face in his mind, a face that saw him as an abomination.

"You were left behind." The whisper spun around his conscious, stealing the air around him. "Because you were wrong."

Jack bit down on his lower lip. He could taste blood.

The hands on him felt like the anonymous ones Jack blindly tumbled into bed with, uncaring and too angry to remember faces. Jack flushed as the hands on him now roamed lower.

"But I came back for you anyway, Captain." The words blew hot on his neck. "My handsome Jack."

It hurt when the Doctor took him; dry, without warning, his stroke cold and impersonal. It drove the air from his lungs. Jack's eyes flew open in shock, his mouth opened in wordless agony. Jack's fists shook as he jammed them against his head. There was no talking, no touches on his skin; just the scrape-scrape of his suit on his bare skin, his fingers tapping on Jack's shoulders as the Doctor rocked into him.

But it was him; his hands, his cock ramming into Jack core deep. No rooftops. No basements. No floors covered in yellowed linens. It was here, in a ship that didn't want him, with the man who’d left him, in the vacuum of dark. Even the ship was silent and all that could be heard were the sounds of clothing brushing against skin, soft grunts Jack couldn't keep in. And the drumming…

Thrum-thrum-tap-tap, thrum-thrum-tap-tap, thrum-thrum-tap-tap.

Jack clenched his teeth to keep the cries of pain from escaping. He closed his eyes…

And pretended.


Chapter 5

Additional Notes: Many thanks to snakeling for betaing this chapter long ago. Yes, I finally finished and can start reposting! Huzzah! LOL.